20 Feb 1802 Before G1 6

§9 Further

Correct d. Observ d 6

As soon as possible, I betook myself to M r Nepean 8 19 April 1800 [G. 2. 3] J.B. he takes himself to Nepean for half to ask whether Long was displeased with him in my account I told him how it was with me what had passed . I explained pleaded to him that not so much as the semblance of access was any longer open to me. I explained shewed him that if there remained any chance of my ever having any thing from M r Long, it [+]I at the same time not only authorised him but brought him to enquire of Mr Long whether he had not so dealt with me, and how he justified it: and in particular whether in the six years experience he had had of me. I had never claim, or written or said or looked any thing that was in to his construction conception him afforded matter of offence complaint or or even his pleasure. could only be through him: that my business disorder was at its crisis: and if he left me now all former kindness and all former pains would be thrown away. [+]. He Mr Nepean heard me: and though, scarce but recovered just convaliscent from disease and danger, sinking under his own business and endeavouring to fly escape from it, he called for my papers, and permitted me to pursue him with them to his place of refuge.

The ensuing Notes [G.2.6.3] will serve to fix the fact of his assistance - the manner and the term.

The letter which precedes them without hope my letter to Mr Long - the last letter address I ever troubled him with but through the medium of M r Nepean was written but two days after his door my death warrant had been finally shut against me - and consequently it was written without hope. It was written notwithstanding: because by whomsoever who else soever besides the Establishment were deserted, I could never be justified in the desertion deserting it of it. No neglect on the part of Honourable Gentlemen was censurable: - no neglect on my part would have been excusable.